If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
