I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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