apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
