Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
