Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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