Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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