it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to sanitize my soul.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
