I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
