well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
