the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
