It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
