TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
