Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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