i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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