In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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