If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
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