Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
