I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
