This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Welp...herpes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
