I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
