I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
