found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
