Pants 0. Shit 1.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
