So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
