I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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