two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
