CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
