Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
