Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
