So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
