i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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