Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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