hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
