Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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