Got a toothbrush?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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