But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
