glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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