bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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