my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
