so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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