If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
