Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
