there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
