Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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