So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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