She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
