dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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