my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
