Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
