; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
