Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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