Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was confusing and full of hummus
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This is my gift to your gina
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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