so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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